somethingtoavenge | Debrief 001 | [Action/Voice]

[Coulson wakes up, trees to his left and right and a path right in front of him. A short distance down the path and to the right he can see a house, actually he can see a few houses from where he is. Everything seems familiar.

The sensation of familiarity is disquieting at first, until everything comes back.

Well... that explains a lot.

Coulson looks around and spots his journal, but sadly there are no clothes this time. So he's stuck in the usual new feather garb of white pants. After being in dark suits for most of his life, he's not sure he likes those pants. With the nice new scar on his chest and back, he's not sure he likes the fact he's shirtless. Also, there is a chill in the air which makes being shirtless very uncomfortable.

Using the mountains and the river, both to his left, he manages to orient himself. With this knowledge he heads towards town center to visit the clothing shop and get dressed. You may run into him a he heads to the clothing shop. Feel free to notice the fresh looking scar almost directly over his heart (but not actually) and the bigger one on his back. Coulson may greet you, but mainly he's focusing on getting to the clothing shop. Unless things happen.]

((ooc; Location is over by House 4, just a short distance up the path leading towards the farmlands.))

[After getting clothes and after whatever adventures happen while he was getting clothing, Coulson puts together a first new post to the Luceti community.]

Greetings Luceti.

My name is Phil Coulson. I have been here before a few months back before... leaving and it seems I have returned.

As far as I know I don't have any unfinished business from before, but If I did have some with you please remind me.

I have probably missed a lot, but is there anyone whose willing to give me a brief summary of things I've missed? I'd be grateful.

[Small pause.]

I think that's all... No wait, Rogue, do you still need help at the item shop? Sorry for leaving you in the lurch.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Phil knew Clint first words were an instinctive reaction. He knew that once Clint perceived an attack he'd strike back as quickly and harshly so he could to inflict like damage.

Still.

It hurt. It hurt quite a bit. However his training made him not flinch and not react even as those words bit deep.

Seconds later he's glad he didn't go for his gut reaction as Clint leans forward and looks exhausted. Not that Coulson hadn't seen the small signs that Clint hadn't been sleeping well, but, well. Phil had had other concerns first.

Clint's next words soften the pain of the first blow, but there is still an ache which he pushes aside.

Phil stance softens and he pulls the chair he had been sitting in closer before taking a seat. He had almost crouched again, but complaining knees said he really shouldn't.]

Loki has a lot to answer for. But, none of it is your fault. Ah, don't say anything. Not yet, let me finish.

[Coulson takes a breath and let's it out slowly before continuing.]

I know I can't understand what you went through. I wish I could but I can't.

However, That doesn't change the fact it was mind control. No matter how in control you might of felt, you really weren't. But you fought it in little ways. You fought it to regain yourself. And in the end, you did. With a little help.

I do not blame you for what Loki's control made you do. I can't. You didn't betray me, not as I see betrayal.

Edited 2012-11-30 22:07 (UTC)

[He regrets the words as soon as he's said them. Coulson's about the only person apart from Natasha who hasn't kicked him to the curb yet. Clint doesn't like to think that he would but sometimes... sometimes it's difficult to imagine why he wouldn't.

He opens his mouth to speak, to protest, only to shut it again when Coulson says. He deserves that much at least.]

He couldn't have done any of it without my contacts, without my knowledge. It was my plan that got him the Iridium in Germany. I killed people there. It was my idea to use him as a distraction, to get him on the helicarrier so I could track it.

[He gave a bitter smile.]

And now he knows everything about me. Everything about Tasha that I know. Can't tell me that's not betrayal.

[Coulson is silent a long moment before speaking.]

Do you think Loki couldn't have got the Iriduim without you? Do you think he couldn't have taken care of the helicarrier without you? Don't underestimate him.

With you there to make plans, Loki could move more in the shadows, certainly.

[He pauses again before continuing on in a serious tone.]

Do you have any idea how many lives that saved? In Germany and on the Helicarrier? Yes, you killed in Germany. Yes, we lost people during the Helicarrier attack.

But Loki would have done what he did with or without you. And with a higher body count.

He had Selvig, so he knew he needed Iriduim. He arrived in a SHIELD base so he knew he'd have to take care SHIELD. And he would have brought a frontal attack to SHIELD and we were not ready for one. Your more subtle maneuvering mean SHIELD was able to fight where SHIELD fights best. In the shadows.

While I can't give you proof this is true, from what information I learned this is what I believe.

[And there is a smaller, more terrifying yet almost cruel thought that if it hadn't been Clint it could of been Fury and then everything would have been fucked.

Phil gives a small sigh.]

No, I suppose I can't. But that's something you need to work out with yourself and with Natasha, when you can.

You didn't betray me. [He is firm on this point. Do not try to argue you will not win.] And it's certainly not your fault I- that Loki got me. Never blame yourself for my mistake.

[Phil knew shouldn't have taken his eyes off Loki.]

[The silence is intensely uncomfortable, and he knows that it's probably hypocritical to care so much about this, when he's killed others with far less concern.]

I think he would have taken longer to do so. And he would've had more trouble hiding and gathering a competent army.

[Coulson makes sense, but he's never been able to keep himself from 'what ifs' and 'maybes'. What if he'd been a better brother? What if he'd just taken the money Swordsman offered? What if he'd just stayed with the circus instead of killing?

It's never helped.]

He made me into everything I've tried to avoid becoming. Or becoming again.

[He says it quietly, lips pressing into a hard line.

He looks up sharply when Coulson mentions his mistake, frowning a little.]

You didn't make any mistake. Loki would've killed anyone he encountered, I don't doubt it.

[Phil is quiet a moment before replying his voice soft.]

Perhaps. But he had the tesseract. You didn't see what it did when he first came through. [At least, Phil is mostly certain Clint didn't see what had happened. There is the barest hint of tightly controlled fear in that sentence. Seeing the Project PEGASUS base completely destroyed with no fiery explosion, no obvious cause was terrifying. Hill had been very lucky. Even if the bases destruction wasn't intentional... that much power could have given Loki anything. Could have destroyed anything. Completely.

So why didn't he? Suddenly there is a plethora of uncomfortable and quite frankly terrifying thoughts about what Loki didn't do, what he could have done. There is not enough information about Loki's motivations.

Phil pushes those thoughts away to be looked over later.]

I'm sorry.

[There really isn't much more he can say to that. Phil knows how hard Clint fought to rise above what he had done before joining SHIELD, and how he had made sure that Clint would never be used that way by SHIELD.

Clint's reassurance that Phil didn't make a mistake is warming but untrue.]

I shouldn't have looked away. That is what allowed him to get behind me.

[In Phil's voice it is a plain and simple recitation of fact. Something he'd accepted as his own error.

Even if it was only the briefest of glances away, he should have known better.]

Edited 2012-12-08 22:51 (UTC)

[No, no he hadn't seen, although he'd had a good idea of what was coming. A few more minutes and they'd all have been crushed beneath a million tonnes of rock and rubble. Even knowing what came after, he can't really regret that he managed to escape.

He shudders at the mention of the Tesseract.]

We underestimated that thing, badly. It's... Selvig went pretty crazy working on it. It showed us things. It's... it's alive. Kind of. Not like humans or Asgardians but...

[He gave a sharp little laugh and shook his head.]

Sorry. I sound pretty crazy. Maybe I am.

[He shrugs at the apology, leaning back on his chair, arms folded over his chest.]

We both know what SHIELD hired me for. It wasn't my good looks and sweet nature.

[He frowns at that admission and shakes his head.]

He can create illusions. And he's fast. You didn't see him take down a squad in the facility.

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