somethingtoavenge | Debrief 002 | [Action]

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Debrief 002 | [Action] | Backdated to the 24th

[Waking up to everything being changed is always... disturbing. Especially if it's what you are wearing and sleeping on.

Phil sits up from where he's now laying on a futon and looks around, mildly perplexed until he remembers the earlier announcement. He cradles his head with a groan then slides out of the futon to see if there is something other than this lightweight sleep robe to wear.

Well. There's a few things.

Phil immediately dismisses the Samurai armor as a possible choice. The next outfit is... oh someone is playing a cosmic joke. It's a set of ninja wear. Phil purses his lips as he stares at them before shaking his head. Growing exasperated and a bit chill in the thin robe he grabs the next outfit and pulls it out. It's a set of Monks robes.

...Certainly better than the other options. Phil changes into the robes which are surprisingly comfortable and heads out to see what exactly has happened.

The Shogunate area is interesting, and it seems the new 'citizens' of the area are respecting the robes. He's not had much trouble.

Perhaps he'll explore some more...]

Day one
[Starting off in Shogunate area, Phil ends up wandering into the Ice Age. Even though his outfit is relatively warm, the cold still sinks into his chest. You may find him walking through the snow and muttering or coughing as his lungs protest the cold air he is now breathing.

Since the Ice age is unpleasant for the man, Phil heads for a different area.

From Cold to heat, the next area he finds if the Nile. The furs from earlier morph into a ancient scribes outfit, meaning his scars are in plain sight. While the heat feel better than the gripping cold of before it's still rather unpleasant. At least it' a dry heat. Trudging through the sand and admiring the pyramids from a distance is how Phil spends his time in the Nile. However he'd like to get back home sooner rather than later. The Ice Age is a no go area so he heads back by another route and another area.

In Gangland Phil finds his clothes have changed close to what he normally wears, minus the suit jacket and plus a waistcoat and a fedora. All in shades of charcoal. While the clothes are a nice change from the earlier areas, the area itself is more dangerous. Still it seems simple enough to avoid antagonizing anything.

Finally he makes it back to the Shogunate and the simple monk robes. The day has been surprisingly draining.]

Days 2-Event End
[Phil kicks back and relaxes in the Shogunate area. He's not adverse to helping anyone who scavenging in the area but is not actively participating in the hunt himself.

You may notice he's coughing a bit, but if you bring it up he waves it off as a light cold from his earlier escapade in the ice age. It sounds plausible...]

((ooc; Run into him wherever on the first day but he's firmly sticking to the Shogunate area for days 2-4))

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[He frowns at that, looking thoughtful.]

So what you're saying here, Coulson, is that you think Stark already has some and just isn't sharing.

[Because why wouldn't Tony Stark create dinosaurs just to prove that he can?

He glances at the hot water bottle, frown becoming more serious because it isn't even that cold in here right now and Coulson's not the type to succumb to autumn chill easily.]

It's okay. I'll get some coffee and that'll take care of things. You keep it.

[Phil gets a mildly horrified expression before shaking his head.]

I sincerely hope not. Besides, I doubt Pepper would let him.

[Please, do not let Tony and the R&D department have alone time, Fury. Please, please, please let Fury have enough sense to see that that is a horrible, bad idea.

Coulson notices the frown and almost winces. He was trying not worry the others. It was just a little cold anyways. However he doesn't wince instead nodding at Clint.]

Alright.

[Back onto his lap the hot water bottle goes, slipped underneath a layer of clothing so it rests against his chest.]

Can you add extra sugar to mine?

[Okay, that expression is absolutely worth it. Clint can't help but grin at him for that.]

I don't know. She'd probably find a way to market it and then Stark industries will take over the world.

[They already had more money than a hell of a lot of countries.

He gives Coulson a somewhat concerned look, but nods.]

Sure. Give me a couple of minutes and I'll be back.

[He heads into the kitchen and returns a few minutes later with two mugs of coffee. He passes one to Coulson and then wraps his hands around his own, soaking in the heat.]

How are you settling in... again?

[Oh the horror. Phil runs a hand over his face.]

Hopefully she'd not do that but... [He gives Clint a look.] Do NOT give the man the idea. I already have the terrifying mental image now, I don't want it to become reality.

[Coulson nods back, ignoring the concerned look. He's fine, just has a bit of a cold.]

Thanks.

[When Clint returns he accepts the coffee with a small smile and takes a sip. Just as he wanted it.]

Well enough. Last time was... simpler, but this time is better.

[He's not alone and simply going through each day. Now Phil was other people to worry about, more people he can help. So he doesn't have time to worry about himself this time around.]

[Clint gives him a wicked smirk.]

I dunno, Coulson. If I give him the idea he might give me a pterodactyl to ride. That's difficult for a guy to pass up.

[He settles down on the couch next to Coulson, starting to flex his fingers to work out the stiffness. Damn cold.]

If things were simple, you'd get bored, Coulson. You wouldn't be in SHIELD if you liked simple.

[Wicked smirk meets annoyed look that morphs into an almost beatifically bland smile.]

Then I have some forms for you to fill out.

[Phil can't help but give a slight amused smile at Clint's comment. It is very true.]

True. Did get bored actually. [He hums thoughtfully.] That's why I started to work at the item shop.

[Because Phil was used to being busy. With staying up late and getting up early, all the paperwork, missions, crisis's, dealing with SHIELD's day-to-day stuff and with Fury. Even with shifts and missions Luceti was hardly as hectic as his normal day.]

I refuse to believe that SHIELD has paperwork for dinosaurs. Besides, you don't have the paperwork here so...

[Probably. This is probably just Coulson bluffing. Right?]

With Rogue? Never pictured you as the shop keeper type, y'know?

Then again, here you are, on the couch, wearing jeans rather than a suit.

SHIELD has paperwork for everything. [There is one long pause before he speaks with a firm finality.] Everything.

[As to if he has any here, well, that just gets a smile.]

Yes. We met when Tony called together a meeting of everyone from universes similar to our own.

[Phil gives Clint a look before sighing.]

There really isn't a whole lot of things to do here. Not compared to back home. And I certainly wasn't going to work at the library.

[Not after that hellish mission he doesn't think about for fear of more mental scarring.]

Besides, the Item shop had no inventory.

[And that is a damn shame. All shops should be inventoried. All.]

Contrary to popular belief and SHIELD betting pools I do actually own jeans and wear them. But they are hardly office appropriate.

So why did you have so much trouble when I came back with Natasha in tow?

[He grins at Coulson when he sighs, because winding him up is sort of a hobby of Clint's.]

Oh god forbid. How could they function without an inventory? Let me guess, you did it for them in your time off.

[He raises an eyebrow at that, unconvinced.]

Coulson, you've taken fewer vacations and days off than I have, and my one vacation was interrupted on the first day by Fury asking me to go down to New Mexico.

Because there were several key forms that we skipped over. [Along with actually pissing off Nick before Phil's fast talking had been able to explain everything and cool the man off. Still earned him the evil eye, but he knows it's because Fury cares. As terrifying as that thought can be.]

Inventory is very important. [His face is blandly serious but there is an amused gleam in Phil's eyes.] Some of it, certainly.

[Phil raises an eyebrow at Clint before replying.] Jeans are good for undercover missions. And when I manage to get back to my apartment I wear jeans. I don't actually live at SHIELD. [But he might as well. There are changes of clothes hidden in his office and he can nap on his couch, but he doesn't live there. Or so he tells himself.]

I'm sorry. Did I break the system by not filling out Form 137b: Going off grid to recruit brainwashed ex-KGB assassin spies correctly?

[He gives Coulson a slightly incredulous look.]

Coulson, we have got to get you some better hobbies.

[Says the man whose main hobby is also what he does for a living.]

I've seen people who do live at SHIELD spend less time there.

It's SR1172-157 actually. Along with AM157-32/8 and FF755-T163.

[Coulson frowns.]

Nothing wrong with my hobbies.

[Except he doesn't actually have any. Not really. Which is probably worse than Clint's my-job-is-also-my-hobby.

Phil almost looks disgruntled.]

Your point being? Fury is there quite often as well.

[Phil doesn't care that he's the director and thus should be there more often anyways. Even if Phil's clocked hours daily at SHIELD are actually higher than Fury's on average. (Except when Fury manages to kick him off-base for some 'proper rest and food at least once this week Phil'.)]

((ooc; [SR1172-157 - Spy Recruitement KGB - OG (off grid)] [AM157-32/8 - Asset Missing OG - CB/H (Clint Barton/Hawkeye)] [FF255-T163 - Furious Fury - BEE (Bad evil eye) - TPC (toward phil coulson)} Imma dork))

You just made those up.

[Probably. He has to believe that or else he will have to accept that there is no hope for Coulson at all.

He raises an eyebrow at Coulson for that.]

Take up juggling or, I dunno, crochet or something. Something to fill the void left by paperwork.

[He smirks at him.]

Fury is SHIELD. Your apartment has probably seen less use than mine and I'm not even sure where mine is anymore.

Well, one of them. [The last one mainly. The other two? Legit. Even if the second one is relatively new. Before they didn't even have Paperwork that named certain assets, but that changed soon after Barton.]

There is no "Void" left by paperwork. [Coulson grumbles and actually does the sarcastic finger air quotes around the word void. However, he may have something...] ...I've started origami? [IS THIS AN ACCEPTABLE HOBBY CLINT? IS IT?

Your point is invalid. Except it's not.]

...Pretty sure yours is in Queens. [Coulson knows exactly where his is, but it's not close enough to SHIELD in case of emergencies. Sometimes he crashes at Fury's. Most of the time, it's the hotel just a block away.

Thank god he never got any pets or plants.]

[Clint snorts softly, shaking his head at that. And well, him and Natasha did often do things that warranted special paperwork.

He just smirks at Coulson's air quotes. It's cute.]

I'm sure you're really pining for it, Coulson. And origami? I thought you might take the opportunity to pick up a hobby which doesn't involve papercuts.

[Coulson probably knows the location and contents of his apartment better than he does by now. It's probably under surveillance.]

Huh, I'll have to check that out sometime when I'm not here.

[You have no idea. If he wasn't so fond of you two he might be annoyed at the additional paperwork.]

Paperwork is not actually a hobby of mine Clint. [It's just something he does in his free time because there is a lot of it. And some of the older forms make him relax. Okay, so it's kinda a hobby.]

I never get paper cuts. [Ink all over his fingers, sure, but no paper cuts.

That is quite possibly true.]

Probably not a bad idea. Hopefully nothing is growing in your fridge.

[There isn't, but Phil can tease. After the first week Coulson simply went and got Clint a lot of dry goods which won't go off. Then had the fridge condemned as a biological hazard and replaced it.]

[Awww, Coulson loves them really. Paperwork and all.]

Could've fooled me. You get this face when you get a stack of freshly photocopied and beautifully written reports, like everything is right with the world.

Everyone gets papercuts.

[He raises an eyebrow at that and shrugs.]

If it is, it can pay the rent. Jesus, I haven't been back there in months. Before this I hadn't seen the sun in months, being locked underground.

[It didn't really bother him too much, although give his choice he preferred the helicarrier.]

[Phil raises his eyebrows at Clint.]

Do you have any idea how rare it is to get a perfect report that hasn't been sent back a handful of time for clarification or a rewrite? Not including the times I've sent back ashes of a particularly bad report which might of had the ability to summon a demon. Either that or they got rotten eggs on it.

I like it when I don't have extra work to do on the reports.

I don't. [Not since he started at SHIELD]

Sorry about that.

[They probably should have switched Clint out every now and then if only to let the man get some sun. But no one else was quite as good as Clint and Natasha had been away on her own mission.]

Coulson. You're waxing lyrical about the virtues of good paperwork. I think my point about you needing a hobby is proven.

[He's half expecting Coulson to start writing poetry. An Ode to paperwork.

He shrugs one shoulder dismissively.]

It is kind of my job. Fury needed someone to watch Selvig and the cube.

[Have a half-hearted glare directed at you Clint.]

Oh, be quiet. Nothing wrong with appreciating good paperwork. It means less work!

[Phil is not one for poems.

He nods.]

True. Still, an hour or two of sun shouldn't have been so hard to fit in. Or at least a sun lamp.

[Clint just smiles blithely.]

You are never allowed to complain about me spending too much time at the range again.

The scientists would probably have complained about it messing with their results. You mean the pale and interesting look doesn't work for me?

Paperwork doesn't end up with my fingers bloody and raw if I overdo it. [As long as you do it correctly that is.] Unlike too much time on the range. If it's you being foolish about your health I hold onto the right to complain. [Same goes in reverse too. Because if you complain it means you care.

Phil shakes his head but smiles.] They probably would have.

Not really. You look like an anemic vampire. [The best deadpan face in the world.]

Occupational hazard. [He's done it before. It going to keep happening because, well, it's easy to forget how long he's been shooting when he's having a particularly bad day.] It's not like that's going to make any difference to my performance. Shot with worse injuries.

[He snorts softly at the comment, giving him a lopsided smile.]

So I'll go and spend some time in the desert area or something. Happy?

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